Archival Recording

Radio GLLU: 1992 July 2

[Music] 

Rita Gonazales

Bienvenidos and welcome to Radio GLLU on Lesbian and Gay Day.

Eduardo Archuleta

I'm Eduardo Archuleta.

Rita Gonazales

And I'm Rita Gonazalez. Today in our show, various guests will be sharing with all of us their poems and short stories, and now, here's our show.

Rita Gonazales

Hey. See that lady protesting against injustice? That's mi Mama. That girl in the Brown Beret, the one teaching the children. She's my hermana. Over there, fasting with the migrants. That's mi tia. These are the women who worry, pray, iron and cook chile y tortillas. The lady with the forgiving eyes and the gentle smile. Listen to her shout. She knows what hardship is all about. The establishment calls her a radical militant. The newspapers read she is a dangerous subversive. They label her name to condemn her. By the FBI, she's called a big problem. In Aztlán, we call her La Nueva Chicana. 

Mercedez Marquez:

My name is Mercedes Marquez. I'm a member of GLLU and LOU. I'm also a civil rights attorney and a partner in a law firm Le Marquez and Fajardo. I've been singing since I'm about nine years old and playing the guitar for just about the same amount of time. These songs are taken from the farm worker movement. They actually come from an album called “Si se Puede” which was produced by the farm workers during the grape strikes and the letter strikes. The first song, “Corrido Dolores Huerta” is actually paying homage to Dolores. She and Cesar founded the union together, but in many ways Dolores serves as the backbone of the union.

That is evident in the song because when they speak about who goes to negotiate and who goes to actually work out the entire contracts, Dolores was the major negotiator for the great contracts in the seventies and that's really quite something in that time and it must have been quite a shock to the grape growers to have to deal with a woman who is maybe about five two and weighs about 105 pounds and has 11 children. So she's really something else and has certainly served as a role model for many Chicanas in the United States. And certainly for me.

The other song “Chicanita de Aztlán” is actually a vision of what we would like our children to have. I think for me, it's always spoke very profoundly that if I had a child who felt that she owed me her conscience, her love for people, her thirst for justice, that I would've accomplished my tasks as a mother. And that's what this child sings of. In the album, the song is actually sung by a little nine-year-old girl and as you know, the lyrics speak of her going to meetings, understanding that there lies power in the voice. She actually participated in strikes, in picket lines and she also speaks of the future. She sees something beyond the struggle, which was often less than the peaceful struggle that the farm workers envisioned. She sees for herself a place where her children live in peace and importantly, she's not just saying, I'm going to live in this land. Because she speaks of Aslan, she understands that this is her land and she claims it for herself and for the generations in the future.

[“CORRIDO DE DOLORES HUERTA” & “CHICANITA DE AZTLÁN” PLAYS] 

Teresa Mendoza

My name is Teresa Mendoza. The works that I've written are a series of pieces of poems, actually, different pieces of my poems that I started writing when I first started coming out not as a lesbian, but as a lesbian who is Latina. So that's where all this, all these allusions to Mexico and Tulum come from. 

[PERCUSSION & FLUTE BY IRENE MARTÍNEZ]

My dream paints a picture of Mayan women seated around the table existing for that hierophany of time belongs to us. Our energy gives birth to acceptance, un orgullo de ser lo que somos.  [PERCUSSION]

Lesbianas unidas del corazón y amor del nuestro ser. My native tongue revives through this native mystic ritual. We are women who love women, mujer a mujer amándonos. Nowhere else have I felt this thing, de mi comunidad, like now. [PERCUSSION]

You are my sister. You are the hawk that flies beside me in meditation. You're the coyote that howls in the night for passion. You're the bear whose strength and power transcends in you. You're my goddess. And the ocean that drowns me in ecstasy. You are the Maya. The smoke of the magic mushroom provides the trance. And you provide my fantasy that shapes itself into reality. [PERCUSSION]

Follow me to the shores of Tulum, where you and I in ancient lives will evoke the spirit of the mother. Our brown faces and eyes will nullify our existence that we share. I, the epicure for your thighs, for your two lips, and for the V of your love. We will bathe in the warm waters of the sacred spiral. We will wear the mask of our foremother. And like the ocean, the sun will ripple to the beat of our native drum. [PERCUSSION]

Our bodies will fuse and the cave in our hearts transparent, centered on silence, chaos before us. Your hair will entangle me like the weeds before us in an orgy of emotion. Your nails will dig for the succulence of my figure. Like the bear claws trees for honey. Your tongue will search for rivulets of desire. Teach us, teach us the song of the wind and the dance of the trees. We will learn. We will learn. [PERCUSSION]

The sands cling for life to the soles of our feet as we wash ashore hand in hand. Ready for the final whistle of the cave we left in our heart. Our paradise before us, with no apple. We will to go on and leave a trail of jungles embraced in the chant of the oceans and ancient ruins. Our homes, nuestro hogar. [PERCUSSION]

The wall of darkness with a door for entry by us, las mujeres. We encounter the lives we leave behind in our sacred homes and pillars of existence. We will learn if you teach us, we will learn. [PERCUSSION]

Soy. La Gringa wondered today. I'd rather dress in ancient Mayan robes. Conscious choice of acceptance of my past, past being present. I walk along my sister and mother with my mask of rebirth in hand. Apprentice to the shaman within me. And La Gringa wondered today why she didn't wonder this before. 

Eduardo Archuleta

Our guests will be Fernando Castro, who's a writer here in the Los Angeles area.

Fernando Castro

Like anyone else in the world, my brother Plinio and I left a decision to be born to our parents. My parents were far from impulsive and maybe they could have adopted children given their wealth, being the owners of the largest part dealer in East LA. My parents had gone through every possible medical resource to have children to no avail. During a visit to Michoacan where they were from and out of desperation, a relative took my parents to a shaman who after examination determined that the only way for them to have children was to lace my father's sperm with that of a bull. 

My parents were warned that one of us will be born half a bull and half human. These occurrences are fairly common, and such creatures are left to grow in caves where they are feed by their human parents. The shaman also added that we were to be twins and that as such we could not be separated for long periods of time. Such separations can be taken as abandonment by the Minotaur and each one of us may risk getting sick and eventual death.

Although my parents had prospered mentally over the years, they could not think of living anywhere else besides East LA. Soon after they got back from Michoacan with me and Plinio, they bought a large house with a very large backyard on which Plinio could feel at ease running as he wish, spending the great deal of energy that he had as a calf in the years to come. As a Minotaur, Plinio will live to be as old as half of a human age. By 15, he was quite beautiful and strong and he will live to be about 40 or so, so the shaman said.

My earliest memories of Plinio go back to his mealtime, which consisted mostly of herbs and vegetables, which he ate out of a large bowl. My mother symbolically and to make out for the lack of schooling would read long texts from the history of Mexico and then sing songs both in Spanish. My father, in order to keep Plinio healthy, would bring shaman from Mexico. [Spanish 00:16:33] as they are called in Mexico, kept on top of Plinio's melancholy and also his nervous fits for not having a sexual partner. I remember the time when he and a fit broke a hoof and my father had to fly Don Francisco in an emergency to take care of him. Don Francisco told my parents that it was best to take Plinio back to Michoacan where he could have a normal life. But my mother crossed herself and asked the Virgin for patience. Such opinion upset my parents because I too would have to go wherever Plinio went and this would bring a disruption to my life. Thus, Plinio was to remain close to me while we both lived in LA.

My parents felt that they had found a solution by keeping a very large backyard with a large enclosure. Our servants were from each Michoacan too and they would keep quiet about the going on at our house. My parents made sure Don Francisco was never brought home again. Soon, I also started reading to Plinio about the history of art. In my room, I gave several reproductions of Picasso's work. My favorite one being the Ravishing of the Venus, but afraid that my mother, who was very religious, would discover it, I hid it under my mattress. During my junior the year, my father rewarded me with a trip to Mexico and with my mother, we went to all the places with her in my mother's history readings. We had to come back because Plinio was feeling sick.

My peers in school liked me, but they found strange that I would never mention sex, which is so important when one is a teenager. I was terrified of them finding out about my sexual preferences, which were of course, boys. And even if I were to meet someone, how was I to explain it to Plinio? I was infatuated by athletes and I myself ran track to control the anxiety that this attractions provoked me. Artists will start complaining of pornography of course, and having talked to a counselor, I will leave literature around the house in the hope my parents would eventually find out about my sexual orientation. I cried a lot during this time. Boys in my class would pester me with requests from some very attractive girls from our Lady of Loretto, our Catholic sister school, and I would even appear to be shout and I was to detract any suspicions.

Aside from track and my studies, I was fascinated by the history of art, wanting to understand how someone like Picasso had painted the Likes of Plinio. From Loyola, I went to Loyola Marymount where I was a commuter unlike the other students for the most part lived on campus. 

During my second year, I made my future lover. He was Chicano like me, and he was particularly determined person who did not mind my initial aloofness. We both went steady and we even stayed together after we graduated in 88 and he went to law school at Stanford. I myself took a job at the country museum doing fundraising.

Frank graduated from law school. He moved back to LA to his own apartment. He expected me to move in with him, but after a long assertive conversation, I let him know that I could not live with him until I talked to my parents. Frank stared at me with disbelief, but he realized that I was serious. Frank said he would come to our home for dinner and get my parents' blessing to move in with each other. Although Frank had dropped me at home several times before, he had never met my parents at close. Most of our gay Latino contemporaries usually move in with each other under the guise of being just roommates and here I was turning our relationship into the quill of engagement of sorts. Frank asked me many questions, particularly about my father trying to gauge if he was a tyrant or he was homophobic.

During the dinner, Frank did not say much except he asked many questions about certain vintage photographs we kept in the living room. Frank said his family was from Durango and this was the first time he had ever spoken about his Latino heritage. My father saw this as an opportunity to create a rapport. He spoke to him about Michoacan, its legends, the Minotaur [INAUDIBLE], large valleys and rivers. After coffee [INAUDIBLE] came time for Frank to express his wishes to live with me. On weeks prior, I had paved the way for this evening talking about Frank in very warm terms, reserved to a lover and expressing my wishes to live together. My parents had agreed to tonight's dinner since it seemed to matter so much to me. On this evening, Frank, usually so direct could not seem to find the words, but my parents patiently waited for him to maneuver through his awkward efforts.

My parents approve of Frank, of course, and they just cautioned us about making sure we could meet our financial obligations and to wait to ensure this was so. Then he told Frank about the trip to Michoacan about my brother Plinio being born a Minotaur and about the fact we could not be separated because either one of us would get sick and maybe die, and this had been proved already. Frank look with complete amazement as my father made the revelations and which sounded so rational during his presentation, Frank fidgeted and listened until the very end of the story. That night, Frank kissed me tentatively and he said, "Sure. Goodnight."

Frank did not say much during the next three weeks, so I wasn't sure whether to cancel our plans to move in. Finally, one night he started yelling that my parents had no right to do this to me. Why couldn't they turn Plinio to humane society and just let me live my life? He said he really loved me and that it was not fair to simply pick on us out of the whole population to carry this burden. I listened patiently to Frank's angry exchange and I knew well what he was going through. Finally, he started sobbing inconsolably and I held him like you hold a child. My parents began to search for a home for us with a large enough backyard to create Plinio [INAUDIBLE] and within three months we were living together with that major incidents. Frank's initial dismay towards my brother turned in time to curiosity and affection. He now willingly shared in the responsibilities of caring and even reading to my brother. My father, already an expert at creating enclosures, built one for us at our new home and plenty of faithful servants came along as well.

The court served us well for that first year of our union. Frank was also prospering very fast at the legal firm where he skyrocketed to the position of associate after winning a very prestigious case. His friend Mike and Rudy, a gay couple, had bought a property along the Silver Lake Reservoir and there was a very large lot adjacent to it as well. Frank knew Mike and Rudy from way back in elementary school and like us, they had gone to Loyola. After hustling with banks and all the paperwork that goes along with buying a home, we were now the owners of a large residence and to add to unlock an empty lot, which our parents gave us some additional funds to purchase it.

Frank and I realized that sooner or later we would have to tell Mike and Rudy about Plinio. It wasn't just the proximity to them that made it inevitable, but also the fact that we wanted to unload our secrets into one of our peers. Plinio seemed to settle fine in the home. Frank, myself and the servants rotated with his feeding and reading, sharing with him [INAUDIBLE], which I was reading at the time. In early December, we took a short vacation to Los Cabos while my parents stayed with Plinio. It was a relief, I must say, to be away from Plinio, from caring for him and his constant need for attention and a sense of unhappiness that never left him. That week and a half me and Frank were the happiest people in the world. For once, we felt like we were finally together for the first time. Inside ourselves, we felt an incredible peace and warmth unmatched by any other experience. We did not say it, but inside, we'd rather return into LA. There were several poses of bull fighting in the hotel and I for once could understand the pleasure that this spoof fighters must have felt.

Sure enough, the phone rang and on the other side of the line, my mother was beyond herself. Plinio had an a fit, broken a horn, and he had fractured two of his hooves. Plinio was a mess and my mother apologizing asked me to come back home as soon as possible. When we got back, Plinio would refuse to eat anything. My mother had [INAUDIBLE] to have Don Francisco come with my father from Michoacan. When I came back, I also became very sick and my doctor could not figure it out. I went to various specialists and they were baffled. I was even tested for HIV, but I was negative despite my cold sweats. My father returned from Michoacan with Don Francisco, another [INAUDIBLE] who proceeded to take care of Plinio's lesions. Don Francisco catching wind of my illness declared that the Minotaurs are selfish and jealous and extreme, and that we being twins, transmit each other's maladies.

Don Francisco treated me with herbs, but they proved ineffectual. Frank was losing his patience with him and what appeared to be convoluted answers. Frank asked Don Francisco whether I was going to recover and Don Francisco responded that this dependent as to whether Plinio would forgive my leaving Los Cabos was without him. Plinio may have looked like a beast, but he needed to be consulted for anything dealing with a separation. Frank could not control his rage and he had to be held back by my father and the servants not to punch out Don Francisco.

I began to dream about Plinio every night. I dreamed that Plinio was being born out of an egg and then another I would see him in an embryo resting in my mother's placenta. I had to finally take a leave from work and I was now very tired and sleepy. In my dreams, I will be in some of the caves in Michoacan's where other Minotaurs like Plinio lived. I continued to have dreams about Plinio and in my dreams, he appeared extremely seductive with his powerful back human legs and his front hoves. I was particularly enticed by the energy of the Minotaur, which somehow reminded me of Frank's fire, a type of energy which males possessed.

The shaman and the [INAUDIBLE] had managed to quiet down Plano. Finally, one day, Frank had to go on an urgent business trip and he had called up my mom to take care of me while he was away. The moon came up on the east full of craters visible to the human eye. My mother prepared dinner and she served me. We talked about Plinio who had been cheerful that day. I even felt better that particular day. We watched one of my mother's novelas, which consisted of a bullfighter who was not hurt in the hospital after a bad day in the ring. We changed the channel to some comedy film by Steve Martin.

My mother helped me to bed. Outside, the wind blew intensely, one could see all the snow out there in San Bernardino mountains beyond. I wasn't a [INAUDIBLE] watching the moon advance to the center of the space in the room, I went to the kitchen to warm up some milk. Back in my bed, I began to hear steps and I just stay watching the moon all this time. The steps were in very slow motion. I just simply laid in the bed and I saw the door open and there was my brother Plinio. He looked magnificent with his muscular legs, his neck was taken with red hide and the abdominals had a particular sheen as he moved slowly towards me. At first, I felt his breath like Frank's, warm and minty. His ever increase in breathing dove me even further into semi-conscious sleep. Plinio caressed my skin with his hooves, I started to respond to his advances to this beautiful animal who was giving me so much pleasure.

God only knows whether this lasted a minute or an hour, then exhausted he rested besides me. All I heard thereafter was a muted gunshot like when someone uses a silencer and then I was bathing in this gushing hot fluid. I opened my eyes and there was Frank shaking me up and down and in his hand there was a smoking gun. He then went to fetch the servants who had already heard Frank's step rushing to the bedroom after he could not find him in the [Spanish 00:28:48]. Frank had that determined look like The first time I'd met at Loyola. He told one of the sermons to call my parents and to inform them about his actions. He said he would give himself up to the police if that's what they wanted.

Neither my parents nor I pursued the matter further. We simply packed with Don Francisco and Plinio's body back to Michoacan where he was given proper burial by the case where Minotaurs live. Meanwhile, I wait for my health situation to be resolved. Were my health take a turn for the worst, I will stay in Michoacan and dwell in the midst of the likes like Plinio. Frank took a week off from the office to be with me. I'm glad our love is still in good health.

Rita Gonazales

Thank you for listening to Radio GLLU. Radio GLLU airs the fourth Sunday of each month at 10:00 PM right here at KPFK Los Angeles, 90.7FM.

Eduardo Archuleta

We'd like to thank everyone who contributed to today's program.

Rita Gonazales

Radio GLLU is a production of the Communication Committee of Gay and Lesbian Latino Unidos.

Eduardo Archuleta

This has been Eduardo Archuleta.

Rita Gonazales

And Rita Gonazales.

Eduardo Archuleta

On behalf of Radio GLLU, 

Rita Gonazales & Eduardo Archuleta

Gracias y buenas tardes.

Credits:

“Radio Gay and Lesbian Latinos Unidos (GLLU) 1992 July 2,” open reel audiotape (7 inch reel). IMRU Radio Sound Recordings and Administrative Records, 1970-2011. ONE Archives at the USC Libraries.